The universe conspires… How melodramatic can a person get? But it certainly felt as if something was trying to make my life even more difficult than it need be.
My recent spell in and out of hospital made many things problematic. I usually celebrate my good health and fitness. I brag about my diet, exercise, non-existent drinking and smoking habits, etc.
And then I fell flat on my face.
Infantalising and ageism
Illness and hospitals have a habit of infantalising a person. Being sick at any age includes a certain level of helplessness which is seen as childlike. Illness makes it difficult to be one’s usual assertive self.
Hospitals are not alone. There’s an element of paternalism in all institutions in our society. The Collins Dictionary defines paternalism as ‘… making the decisions for the people you govern, employ, or are responsible for, so that they cannot or do not have to make their own decisions’.
Being a woman on the wrong side of 80 makes these problem worse. Over that age, we are already battling ageism everyday, because so many people regard old people as not fully competent. Being sick or out-of-sorts adds to their perception.
As luck would have it (the universe conspires?) I’d been in the process of acquiring new hearing aids, which had not been properly adjusted. Inadequate hearing makes communication even more difficult. I felt at an added disadvantage.
Lying in bed for too long leads to an alarming loss of muscle mass and function. The deterioration occurs quickly. The statistics for loss of muscle frighten me. If I had been a nurse responsible for my care, I would have added to the care plan, ‘Make sure she walks around the ward at least three times a day’.
The Universe conspires
At home, I felt weak and pathetic, as if I could barely care for myself. As well as that, prescribed medication caused me to feel lightheaded and slightly photophobic. My confidence seemed to be at its lowest possible ebb.
One day, I went to my car in the basement carpark. I forget now why, but possibly to retrieve a book I’d left on the back seat the last time I drove.
The next time I went to the car, I discovered that I’d left the back door open. The battery was flat. As it was three or more years old, I chose to buy a new battery from the Royal Automobile Club of WA.
I’ve been a member for many decades, but in the last thirty years I’ve rarely called them. I’d forgotten what an amazing service they provide, and how pleasant their mechanics can be.
Buses, trains and shanks pony
I thought of alternative means of travel because I didn’t want to drive. The more I put it off, the more confidence I lost. I began to wonder if I would have to relinquish my drivers licence. Friends suggested I should think about vouchers to defray the cost of taxis.
‘For the rest of my life?’ I wondered.
Family members drove me to appointments, including to the audiologist to fix the hearing aids. A couple of times, I went places by taxi. I caught trains and walked. I negotiated buses, delighted they all had ramps the drivers put down when they saw me waiting with my walker.
Plucking up courage
But soon I felt better, stronger. A change in medication meant I no longer felt lightheaded. The photophobia disappeared. My legs felt stronger the more I walked.
I finally plucked up courage to drive myself, and went to the car. You can imagine my distress to find that, for the second time, I had not closed the back door. Flat battery! The Universe conspires, again, to thwart my plans.
This time my son, Tim, used his jumper leads to recharge the battery, making it look easy. He stressed how good it would be for me to drive, and encouraged me to ‘just do it’.
So I drove to the coast at City Beach, less than seven kilometres west of my apartment. Then down the West Coast Highway, and back along another route. It was, as Tim promised, effortless and almost automatic once I got on the road.
I’ve loved driving since I got my first licence seventy years ago. Such a joy to have overcome one more hurdle. Now I’m looking for more things to conquer!
Great to know that you have found your ” get up & go” I have felt your frustration, so common after your recent glitches. We all need someone like your Tim. So let’s all “just do it”, I needed this Thankyou dear Maureen H. ☺️
Thank you, Maureen. My ‘get up and go’ is returning slowly, but at least now I can see some light at the end of the nonsense that beset me. My family is amazing – and sometimes they seem to just waltz into my life for less than an hour and solve problems I’ve been anguishing over for days. I’m not sure what Tim can’t do.
I still hope I can have the sheet music we talked about. Maybe one day this week. I’ll SMS to make a time.
Just keep on doing things! You might have to alter how, but do it. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog as you always leave me feeling upbeat even though your issues are not completely the same as mine are😸.
Thank you for your lovely comments, Jan. I’m glad you enjoy my blog. I keep reminding myself that I can do what I used to do. Just slower! I need the encouragement.
Continually amazing! That’s you, dear Maureen! You inspire me with your “get up and go”. 💖
I have a little motto to JFDI. “Just freakin’ do it”!
So glad the universe created the need for a “jump start” back into life!!
Xx
Yep, ‘Just freakin’ do it’ is a much better motto than the Nike motto! I’ve been thinking about you and hoping your week in the northern suburbs is going well.
So pleased for you, Maureen {and me} that you have so much pluck, “can do” and common sense. Your “joy of life” is wonderful, and so good to see you be back on your feet. Lovely to catch up again this morning, thank you.
I always enjoy your posts, Maureen. There are ten years between us and you put me to shame. I’ve admired you since the day we met.
Time and time again you have inspired me to get up and do something instead of sitting around.
With everything you’ve been through over the past year or so, it’s hardly surprising you began to ‘mislay’ a little bit of Maureen I’m so glad you’ve found her and your ‘mojo’ has returned. xx
Such a thoughtful, caring comment,SueW. I am very grateful that we became friends all those years ago. Long may we continue! I look forward to your blogs every week, and love your photos. I specially love when you post one of somewhere I recognise from my holiday in York ten years ago. Your rural life is foreign to my city one, and I love seeing photos of the animals. Mx
Sorry to hear you have been unwell Maureen, but good on you for taking the plunge and getting back behind the wheel and getting back into life. Stay well 💜
Irene, how lovely to hear from you! Thank you for your comment and kind wishes.
That is fabulous news Maureen and congratulations on your resilience, determination and inspirational positive actions. It’s great to know that you are out and about again! And how great that your wonderful son Tim, was so confident that you could do it and that he gave you the nudge that you needed to get on the road again. So good to hear, Maureen. Love and best wishes for your future independent excursions and for more happy memories and personal achievements. Cheers Trish
Good to read Maureen, keep up the practice – as you’ve discovered, its the spaces between practice that get all of us no matter the age, but down the pointy end of life maybe harder:)
Indeed I will keep up the practice, Valerie. Driving, writing, celebrating…whatever I’ve let slip I hope to recover. And things do get a bit more tricky because age slows many of us down, which is all the more reason to just get on with things.