Taking stock and reorganising life

Taking stock of one’s life can happen in the most unexpected ways, and often for bizarre reasons. It’s been a year since my husband of sixteen years upped sticks and left me. Here’s a snapshot of my life then and now, and some ideas for the future.

You can imagine the turmoil! Legal, financial, emotional and adminstrative tangles to be sorted out as we separated. The fear of potential homelessness if I had to sell the apartment and find somewhere else to live. Stress levels through the roof, which caused its own set of problems including severe neck pain from a flair up of arthritis. A pain in the neck is no joking matter.

Humiliation! What kind of woman deserves to be abandonned by her husband?

The last twelve months have been tumultuous but I’ve come out the other end, on balance much better than before. The question I’m left with is, ‘Where to from here?’

Taking stock at eighty-six

How lucky I am to be this old, and still in good health and spirits. That’s the first plus in this process.

As well, I have

• a loving and supportive family and good friends and neighbours
• a lovely apartment in a neighbourhood I like
• a wider community in Subiaco which supports and encourages activities for all age groups, including seniors
• a regular income and money in the bank
• renewed confidence that I can do all the things I could once do, but have not done for years, and as well,
• I can make my own decisions and be my own boss.

That looks like a pretty good starting point for planning ahead as taking stock requires. I’ve written about some of these things here.

Why plan ahead?

Sometimes, our lives change when when we least expect them to. And that’s not always a bad thing, except that uncomfortable events can take can over our thoughts and emotions. As a result, we can become quite debilitated.

For months, my life felt bleak. Some days I would have preferred to pull the blankets on my bed over my head and wait until the chaos subsided. Activities I once enjoyed, including writing a blog, seemed like chores.

However, my wise brother, Peter Stone, once told me that a good reason to keep changing is that if we do it ourselves, there’s less chance that life will take over and disrupt everything for us. New directions we instigate ourselves can seem like a challenge rather than a problem.

It was time to be proactive rather than reactive.

What’s new after taking stock?

Here are a few things that are different:

• Waking up every day seems like an adventure.
• I entertain more and enjoy cooking and baking again. (There are fresh homemade biscuits in the kitchen waiting for tomorrow’s visitors.)
• Quite by accident, I found a wonderful Substack community, Writing in the Dark, and have begun to write and think differently about my writing life that was on hold for so many years.
• Maggie the puppy entertains me three days a week.
• My appartment glows.
• My old keyboard found its way out of the storeroom and now features in my everyday life.
• My blog is back. Thank you, those who have asked about it. And about me!

I love comments! I’d love to hear from you.