The Dowerin Bed and Breakfast and its guests have been at my mercy for over a week. This old woman has masqueraded as the boss, while my sister, Elizabeth, and her husband, Peter, are overseas on holidays. This is a diary of the week.
The Dowerin bed and breakfast on the Goomalling-Dowerin Road in the Eastern Wheatbelt region of Western Australia
Dowerin is at the cross roads to a number of important places.
There are many responsibilities when you live in the country. I had to
Feed Hannah and her sisters. Which chook is Hannah?
The hens rewarded us with real farm eggs with orange yolks. The guests and my husband, John, and I ate them for breakfast almost every day.
Admire one of the garden rooms from the outside.
Choose my favourite.
Set the table for one guest for a 6.15 a.m. breakfast. (The next morning there were five for people for breakfast at 6, and no time for photography!)
Explore the in the shed at the bottom of the property
and discover John, hard at work.
Photograph reluctant neighbours.
Persist until I found some that were more amenable
Park in the main street, which was never a problem, especially on a Sunday. It is difficult to believe that during the Dowerin Field Days at the end of August space will be at a premium.
Find this Tin Dog on the edge of a paddock. This is the emblem of the town, about which a whole post could be written,
and also a bookshop in the middle of town.
Find a sunny spot on a verandah of the main house where I could do a spot of craft work – but where, sadly, I wrote not one word of my new book for a whole week!
A full wood box and several stoves
kept us warm on the odd wintry night
What more could anyone ask for during a week in the country?
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Relationships Australia WA offers a new workshop which I think may have particular interest for older men and women. The facilitator is my friend, Elizabeth Brennan, a remarkable older woman with many years experience as a relationships educator and facilitator of groups of many different types. Details of the workshop are as follows:
CHANGE AND LOSS
Healing and Learning to Live Again
Change and the accompanying experience of loss, is part of everyday life. Life itself begins with loss – the separation from the womb. We are continuously faced with separation, endings and major changes. In order to move on, let go and embrace what is new, we need to grieve the loss. How we mange loss and grief greatly effects our relationships and our well-being.
This workshop will discuss how to:
Gain a deeper understanding of the grief process
Identify personal core issues of grief
Identify place in the grief process
Learn skills to assist the process
Develop strategies that will enable moving on
At 22 Southport Street, corner of Cambridge Street WEST LEEDERVILLE on Tuesday 29 April 2014 from 9/30 am to 12.30 pm
For further information and to enrol please phone 9489 6322
THIRD NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON ELDER ABUSE
Advocare is proud to be at the forefront of combating elder abuse in Australia and will host the 3rd National Elder Abuse Conference. Entitled ‘Unlocking Solutions’, our organising committee will embrace a program that looks into all aspects of elder abuse.
Already regarded by industry leaders as a must attend event, this conference will bring together dynamic global experts to share information on topics that will assist in elder abuse research, intervention and policy. There will also be plenty of opportunities for networking, reacquainting with old colleagues and meeting new ones.
The two day conference will be followed by a unique one day workshop which will look at the practical and theoretical applications that arise from the conference.
I encourage delegates from different professions to attend, as unlocking solutions to elder abuse requires a collaborative effort from all counterparts.
Register your interest for the conference and workshop and help change the outcome for thousands of elder abuse victims in Australia.
See you in Perth.
Chief Executive Officer, Australian Representative for the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse; Chairperson of the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse
Invitation to Submit an Abstract
We invite you to submit an abstract for a contribution to the 2014 Conference Program. The deadline for abstract proposals is Friday 2 May 2014.
Abstracts should generally be limited to the suggested themes and underlying topics. Thought provoking, creative abstracts are highly encouraged to stimulate the interest and participation of delegates throughout the Conference.
Research and Innovation
Areas such as research projects, technological advancements and innovative new practices, and new ways that organisations are doing ‘old business’.
Projects that have helped your organisation to recognise, respond or record elder abuse, including but not limited to help lines, databases, identification tools and marketing strategies.
Collaboration, Information Sharing and Engagement
Different ways in which your organisation works with others to spread messages, promote ideas and events, fund projects and activities and share valuable information and statistics. We are also looking at ways in which you think we can better record Elder Abuse ie managing statistic, National Linkages.
Education, Training and Workforce Development
Including, but not limited to new and existing training programs, tertiary courses and other workforce development methods.
Learning from Other Disciplines
We are looking for ways in which elder abuse agencies can learn from other disciplines that excel in areas such as information sharing, reporting and recording, victim protection, relationship building and fundraising.
We are looking to find out new ways to further advance the prevention of elder abuse eg changing perceptions, changing laws, changing the way we look at or think about things.
For guidelines, click to contact Advocare Inc., or call Advocare on 9479 7566 and speak to Greg Mahney.
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Last week, around a hundred professionals whose work involves older people and their well-being attended a launch of a document, Elder Abuse Protocol: Guidelines for Action. The event washosted by Advocare Inc., the lead agency of the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse:WA* (APEA:WA) at the Leadership Centre of the Australian Institute of Management. As the inaugural CEO of Advocare Inc. I was privileged to attend and delighted to see the work that these two organisations are doing.
The new Protocol provides general information about elder abuse, as well as information about appropriate responses to elder abuse for staff who work in organisations that deal with older people.
A seventy-year-old woman in a nursing home finds two masked men in her room early one morning. She yells for help but they knock to the ground and she suffers minor bruising. The intruders steal two handbags containing small change that belong to the staff on duty. The incident is reported on television news and on page 5 of the local newspaper. The intruders are later caught and convicted of break and entry, assault and theft.
A woman of similar age who lives in a nearby suburb does not escape so lightly. She has slight paralysis on her left side as the result of a cerebrovascular accident (stroke) a few years ago. She’s mentally alert and competent and lives alone with some support from aged care services. She completes a couple of cryptic cross-word puzzles a week; enjoys putting 1 000 piece jigsaw puzzles together; and sees friends regularly.
Unfortunately, many years ago, thinking she was preparing well for her old age, she donated enduring power of attorney to her only son so that he could manage her finances if she was ever incapable of looking after them herself. In the weeks while she was in hospital immediately following the stroke, when she had temporarily lost her decision-making capacity, he assumed power of attorney and took control of her finances.
Now he refuses to relinquish that power. He manages her bank accounts, pays all her household bills, gives her an allowance for food, and maintains tight control over her money. She is distressed by the predicament she finds herself in. The most recent episode was his response when she asked for $200 from her bank account to replace her shabby tracksuits and underclothes.
‘Don’t be so silly, Mum,’ he said.You don’t need new clothes. You don’t go anywhere. Why waste money on stuff you don’t need?’
The son may not see his behaviour as elder abuse. After all, he might argue, the old lady’s needs are being met. He is only looking after the inheritance he will, in his opinion, rightly acquire when she dies. He does not acknowledge that he no longer has a right to her power of attorney or access to her finances; and the money he ‘refuses’ to ‘give’ his mother is not his, but hers.
There have been no headlines in newspapers about the financial abuse of this old woman, nor are there likely to be in the near future. Financial abuse of elders takes many forms, and this story is simply one illustration.
There are other kinds of violence inflicted on older men and women by their families and ‘friends’ – people everyone expects they should be able to trust. Elder abuse includes physical, emotional and social abuse and neglect. We don’t hear a lot about it. No one likes to admit they are being mistreated and many older people are afraid to talk about it.
‘Elder abuse is not something newspapers like to cover,’ a journalist told me earlier this week. ‘Even if I wrote a really good article, it wouldn’t be printed.’
Short personal history
In the 1970s, domestic violence was not considered a crime. Men were allowed, under the law, to rape their wives. Police frequently sided with the perpetrator when called to a scene of domestic violence. The courts and the churches often turned a blind eye to the plight of victims of familial violence. They declined to condemn perpetrators in the same way they blindly failed to condemn perpetrators of child abuse.
The second wave Feminist Movement went some way to change community attitudes towards domestic violence.
In the 1970s a group of people, all of us passionate about social justice, set up Emmaus, the second women’s refuge in Western Australia in an old, four-bedroom house that we rented in Inglewood. We had little money, a great deal of goodwill – and no government assistance. Emmaus was soon full of women and children escaping violent husbands and fathers.
In the early 1980s, I was invited to represent Community Health Nurses on the Western Australian Advisory and Coordinating Committee on Child Abuse. At the time, I was working as the nurse in a high school and encountered children who were victims of abuse on an almost daily basis.
In the early 1990s, farsighted social workers, counsellors, teachers and others concerned with the welfare of women, children and families began to make connections, not seen before, between domestic violence and child abuse.
These days it is widely acknowledged that domestic violence in all its forms including child abuse is never OK.
But so far in our society there has been no major breakthrough in attitudes to elder abuse . Elder abuse receives little publicity and is barely recognised, perhaps because older people in our society receive less respect than they deserve.
However, there are some organisations which work tirelessly to bring this injustice to the consciousness of the community.
Advocare Inc. and the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse:WA (APEA:WA) are two such organisations. They define elder abuse as ‘any act which causes harm to an older person and occurs within an informal relationship of trust, such as family or friends…Abuse can take many forms, including financial or material abuse, neglect, emotional or psychological abuse, social abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse’.
According to APEAWA, elder abuse is underreported. But it is estimated that between two and five percent of older people will experience abuse, which means that between 6 000 and 15 000 older Western Australians could be affected.
Section of audience at launch of Elder Abuse Protocol
The protocol launched last week states:
In addressing elder abuse, the rights of the older person must be supported. Older people have the right to make decision, take risks, or refuse supports and interventions, as long as they have the cognitive capacity to make informed decision and can understand the consequences of those actions.
If you think you may be, or could in future be, the victim or elder abuse, or if you suspect someone you know may be the victim, please ring Advocare Inc. on (08) 9479 7566 and talk to an advocate who will provide information about the steps you can take, and if necessary support you.
Congratulations to everyone involved in producing Elder Abuse Protocol: Guidelines for Action, such a successful launch, and to those who supported its publication, especially the Department of Local Government and Communities for funding.
*Agencies which comprise APEA:WA are Advocare Incorporated; the Department of Aboriginal Affairs: Department of Local Government and Communities; Department of Health WA; Disability Services Commission; Legal Aid (WA); Office of the Chief Psychiatrist; Office of the Public Advocate; Public Trustee; WA Police; Western Australian Local Government Association.
My sister Elizabeth Worts at work in one of the garden rooms of her bed and breakfast
An elephant swayed from side-to-side as she picked her way down the side of mountainside in a jungle in northern Thailand. She felt her way with her trunk to test the terrain before she put each enormous foot carefully into a tiny space between loose rocks.
The mahout on the creature’s head turned around to where I clutched Elizabeth’s arm in terror. If it hadn’t been for my dear sister, my life would have been much less adventurous. And I would never have been perched so precariously on a platform on the animal’s back, waiting to be thrown to the ground and trampled underfoot.
‘Very safe,’ the mahout called, laughing as I shrieked. I swear could hear him thinking, ‘Silly Farang!’ (foreigner).
‘Grandmothers like us should be at home sitting in rocking chairs,’ Elizabeth said calmly, ‘not rocking around like this on the backs of elephants.’ She didn’t seem at all fazed by that experience or others that followed.
A mahout and his elephant (Photo courtesy of Wikimedia)
In the eight years she lived in Bangkok, Elizabeth orchestrated the most amazing adventures for family and friends who flocked to her apartment in Soi 12, Sukhumvit, right in the heart of Bangkok. She showed us the tourist sites; we explored China Town and travelled the Chao Phraya River on over-laden local ferries where we rubbed shoulders with Buddhist monks – taking care not to touch and so defile them – and with old men holding live chickens and old women clutching babies on their laps.
Elizabeth took me on boat trips on the tiny klongs (canals) that criss-crossed the city, mostly hidden from tourists. We visited the Klong Toey slums near the port with a Redemptorist priest as our escort and a vicious cock-fight an unexpected and unwelcome spectacle. At an international charity workshop we talked to the nuns and to the young women from slum districts who were learning to make patchwork bags, placemats and quilts. One day when we went looking for a medical museum that I’d read about, we even found ourselves in the morgue of a hospital with corpses placed haphazardly on trolleys and only partially covered with grey blankets – and no staff in sight. That was really scary!
When not playing hostess to Australian guests, my sister could often be found in an orphanage in the slums, feeding and cuddling babies or playing with toddlers.
‘I’ve learned not to go to the babies that cry the loudest,’ she said. ‘They get all the attention. I pick up those that are lying quietly. They’re passive because no one cuddles them.’
Fast forward twenty five years. Now my still energetic seventy-two-year-old sister lives in Dowerin, a tiny country town almost 160 kilometres north-east of Perth in the central wheat-belt region of Western Australia – as far from the bustle of Bangkok as it’s possible to imagine. Apart from the few days each year in August, when the Dowerin Field Daysattract thousands of people from all over the State to the agricultural displays on the football oval, it’s quiet in the town.
‘We thought this lovely house looked like a B & B the minute we saw it,’ Elizabeth says. ‘I’ve travelled overseas and all over Australia and stayed in lots of home-based accommodation. I love entertaining, and thought I could probably do as good a job as many other people in hospitality.
‘Peter and I came to Dowerin ten years ago to semi-retire. We’ve obviously failed at that!’ she adds.
Welcoming corner in spring sunshine
The Dowerin Bed and Breakfast has become a home-away-from-home for many people from government departments who visit Dowerin and the surrounding areas, as well as for tourists and business people travelling in the wheat-belt. Elizabeth’s attention to detail ensures that guests enjoy a warm welcome, delicious food and a comfortable room or purpose-built garden unit where they can sit on a veranda and enjoy the expansive rural views.
Wheat crop seen from veranda
During the Dowerin Field Days, the bed and breakfast accommodation bulges with visitors. Some people even park their caravans on the property for the duration of the Field Days. Breakfast begins at six each morning as people prepare to set up and staff their stalls and exhibitions. At the end of each of the busy days, a party atmosphere prevails as twenty or so guests and visitors sit down to three-course, restaurant-standard meals. People book a year, two years ahead, for the privilege of staying at the Dowerin Bed and Breakfast during Field Days.
As well as running the bed and breakfast and helping Peter with his business, Shades Pergolas, Elizabeth has immersed herself in the life of the town – book club, craft group and art classes. She is also a long-term member of the North East Wheat Belt Travel Association, which promotes tourism in the region. As a member of the Country Cousins network of Western Australian farm-stay accommodation, she actively helps to maintain the standards of the network and attends regular meetings and conferences in regional Western Australia.
This active, much-in-demand grandmother of ten and great-grandmother of four makes time to drive to Perth almost weekly – a three-hundred-and-fifty kilometre round trip – to visit family and friends. She often takes care of her younger grandchildren, either in Perth or during school holidays at Dowerin. She regularly visits her daughter and grandsons who live in Bridgetown. Beautiful crotchet rugs, knitted jumpers, hand-made gifts flow from her hands for new babies, toddlers and the older children.
Austin and Elizabeth celebrate his first birthday in Bridgetown
Elizabeth with her grandson Mark (l), great-granddaughter Chloe, and son Steven
Elizabeth and Peter holiday regularly – in Bali, in Thailand, where Elizabeth’s son Damian manages a restaurant, or further afield. Last year they spent five weeks in England, where they visited Peter’s relations and went to some of the places where he spent his childhood. Often they take their caravan on short trips to the beach; to the outback where they camp on stations near water holes, perhaps to see the wildflowers in the mid-west; and to places in between.
The Worts on the Hoe, Plymouth UK, 2013
Energetic and full of enthusiasm, my sister is a woman ageing with style. Perhaps one day, she’ll settle down in that rocking chair she mentioned in Thailand. But I imagine that won’t happen soon!