Music burst back into my life after a long absence. I’m overjoyed.
My old husband banned music from our house soon after we married seventeen years ago. He said his poor hearing made listening difficult. ‘Noise’ made it hard for him to concentrate.
He also banned cut flowers because, he said, they gave him hay fever. Pets and perfume, ditto. At first, I took his word at face value, and didn’t really query what he told me. Later, it became too hard to challenge entrenched patterns.
From the ashes
A couple of months ago, I resurrected my old compact disc player from the cupboard to which I’d banished it when we moved into this apartment in Subiaco.
My ability to use modern technology to play music equals my desire to do it. Zilch!
At first the CD player sat on a coffee table. Then, with the help of a granddaughter, I set it up in its own shelving space in a corner of the living room with my old, much-loved discs. They’re neat, unobtrusive, and they bring joy to my new life.
My eclectic (or maybe weird) music collection ranges from high end classical through ballet and opera, with a smattering of Gregorian chant, Leonard Cohen, the Seekers and some kids’ music. The list goes on.
There’s Redgum bought after a concert in the Perth Concert Hall to which I took a couple of my teen-aged boys, where we could smell someone smoking cannabis. A Judy Stone CD came following one of the very early Fairbridge Folk Festivals.
My friend Eileen Susan recently wrote about music and her visit to the Sydney Opera House. Check it out, ‘Pull out all the stops‘, for the article and her beautiful photography.
New music
When I lived alone, music accompanied my reading, writing and research. It was my constant companion through my PhD canditure. Gardening, housework, cooking and laundry required a different set of melodies. I had them all.
But times have changed, and so have I. The things I write now are different and I have only a handful of potplants instead of a garden. I cook less and the food is mostly basic.
My need for novelty has resurfaced. I’ve written about novelty in these recent blogs: Do something different on Sunday; Three shiny new things.
Other music attracts me. I bought the Australian Broadcasting Corporation ‘100 Feel Good Highlights’. It consists of four discs of the music ABC listeners voted this year as their favourites. Even the cover makes me feel good.
I plan to choose some of the music I like best and build a new collection that moves me to joy or tears or that simply delights me.
It’s almost like falling in love again.
Maureen, music is such an important aspect in our daily lives so soothing therapeutic relaxing healing both mental & our physical wellbeing.
Our family often participate singing with guitar at Mark’s residence.
The joy & smiles on their faces is so empowering.
Music to dementia sufferers in particular raises their senses to another level almost instantly from agitation anxiousness to calmness so good to see.
Love your blogs thanks for sharing & stay well lots love😘
Dear Nena, I remember how musical your family has always been, and some of the lovely stories you and Elizabeth W have told me about you and Mark, your guitars and singing with and without your children. I imagine your grand children also make music and share your singing. God bless you and your family sharing your love of music with the other residents. They may not remember, but I know you bring joy to their lives because music is so good for all of us.
How lovely and exciting that you have rediscovered, or reclaimed, music in your life. I did the same. My husband wasn’t a fan of music either. We were married for 43 years, and after he passed away four years ago, I began listening to music again and singing again. Now I have music playing in the house almost all day long every day.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss, Deb. But yes, it is lovely and exciting to have found music again. I’ve never really been a singer, but find I’m trying, and singing and humming more. How odd! I hadn’t made that connection. Thank you for your comment, and making the connection with me.
Dearest friend – I so look forward to hearing some of your music and seeing your beautiful smile. My experience was exactly the same as yours. And how much stronger we can become as the music we can choose to listen to mysteriously enables us to grow in power. Switch it on dearest Maureen – revel and we shall dance together.
Dear Elizabeth B, I had no idea about you and music in your marriage. Thanks for sharing. My CDs don’t seem all that inspiring just yet, but I’m looking forward to playing some new things and fostering my enthusiasm. It’s just so good to be able to play what I want to whenever I like! Thank goodness our apartments are almost soundproof. You are right about growing in power through music. And I think we grow in grace and happiness, as well. Love, love, love the image of the two of us dancing with our walkers!
Wouldn’t we be able to do the most amazing dance steps coinciding with our wheels. We could win world wide competitions – maybe we could instigate a new Olympic … whatever. But if not, we can laugh and love each other over and over gain. Praise the Lord!!
The images of us dancing get stronger and stronger! But laughing and loving each other works just fine!
Maureen, it is surprising how many of us lost music in our lives due to partners who did not like it. I am now reveling in playing my music whenever I feel like it, and I fell like it most of the time! Reacquainting myself with old favourites and new discoveries has lightened my post marriage life.
Thank you for commenting and sharing your experience about music post marriage life, Jan. It’s hard to believe that we give up so much for the sake of peace in our marriages, but somehow whatever we do they still don’t always work how we’d hoped they would. Again, thank you for understanding! xx
You’ve been reborn! In the old days you could rip your CDs to your computer. Now you have to buy the albums or tracks you like. I buy them to my phone then play the through a portable wifi speaker. That way I can take my music on holidays, to the pool when I exercise and play it I the house. The speaker gives a better sound than playing straight from the phone.
It feels like that, Elizabeth! You have always been much more computer literate than me, and you manage to do amazing things. FSor the moment, I’m happy to just potter around with my old CD player until I get more confidence. But I’ll be calling on you for help soon, I hope! xx
How wonderful, Maureen, to feel the joy and freedom of music in your life again. I am so glad for you. Thank you for sharing my discovery, too.
Here’s to falling head over heels in love!
Yes, it seems like a new start to an important part of my life, Eileen Susan. I’d forgotten how much I like music, how much I depend on it for my health and happiness. Your blog prompted me to write this one, thank you.
HI Maureen
Well that was a catalyst to get me going too.
I love music.
And I loved this Blog about falling in love again, this time with something safe and undemanding as music. It was great to read what it means to you, the joy it is now bringing and the vibrancy one feels when we have good music playing. The idea of the ABC music selection is appealing. Now with an empty home (for the time being) I am needing to, and starting to fill my voids with music too.
“Viva La Musica”! Lets toast to that!
Cheers and champagne
X Trish
I’m glad my simple music blog touched you, Tricia. Yes, music fills voids in rooms and houses and hearts. It can fill us with delight and joy, and touch our more sombre and sedate moods as well. I once painted a whole house and cried my way from room to room playing the Seekers. I can’t even remember which albumn. But there was lots of goodbye music. By the time I got to the last bedroom, I felt light and joyful and ready to take on the world. I don’t know what made me remember that when I read your comment.
I echo your ‘Viva La Musica’ and you have reminded me also about how safe and undemanding music can be.
Music fills spaces where words cannot. For every mood & occasion there is a composition. Our voice is the first instrument. Let’s sing out loud. 🎶🎶🎶🎶
Oh, I love that, Maureen. Thank you.