Public transport – easy travelling

Public transport is a fun way to see a town or a country.

John and I decided we no longer wanted to drive a car in Europe. It was a big decision at the time. It was an admission we were getting old. We wondered if we’d see enough, experience as much, feel free to move. We needn’t have worried. Continue reading

Coming soon

Relationships Australia WA offers a new workshop which I think may have particular interest for older men and women. The facilitator is my friend, Elizabeth Brennan, a remarkable older woman with many years experience as a relationships educator and facilitator of groups of many different types. Details of the workshop are as follows:

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CHANGE AND LOSS

Healing and Learning to Live Again

Change and the accompanying experience of loss, is part of everyday life.  Life itself begins with loss – the separation from the womb.  We are continuously faced with separation, endings and major changes.  In order to move on, let go and embrace what is new, we need to grieve the loss. How we mange loss and grief greatly effects our relationships and our well-being.

This workshop will discuss how to:

  • Gain a deeper understanding of the grief process
  • Identify personal core issues of grief
  • Identify place in the grief process
  • Learn skills to assist the process
  • Develop strategies that will enable moving on
At  22 Southport Street, corner of Cambridge Street WEST LEEDERVILLE on  Tuesday 29 April  2014 from 9/30 am to 12.30 pm

Cost: $25

For further information and to enrol please phone 9489 6322

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 THIRD NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON ELDER ABUSE

Advocare is proud to be at the forefront of combating elder abuse in Australia and will host the 3rd National Elder Abuse Conference. Entitled ‘Unlocking Solutions’, our organising committee will embrace a program that looks into all aspects of elder abuse.

Already regarded by industry leaders as a must attend event, this conference will bring together dynamic global experts to share information on topics that will assist in elder abuse research, intervention and policy. There will also be plenty of opportunities for networking, reacquainting with old colleagues and meeting new ones.

The two day conference will be followed by a unique one day workshop which will look at the practical and theoretical applications that arise from the conference.

I encourage delegates from different professions to attend, as unlocking solutions to elder abuse requires a collaborative effort from all counterparts.

Register your interest for the conference and workshop and help change the outcome for thousands of elder abuse victims in Australia.

See you in Perth.

Greg Mahney

Chief Executive Officer, Australian Representative for the International Network for the Prevention of Elder Abuse; Chairperson of the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse

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Invitation to Submit an Abstract

We invite you to submit an abstract for a contribution to the 2014 Conference Program. The deadline for abstract proposals is Friday 2 May 2014.

Abstracts should generally be limited to the suggested themes and underlying topics. Thought provoking, creative abstracts are highly encouraged to stimulate the interest and participation of delegates throughout the Conference.

Conference Themes

Research and Innovation

Areas such as research projects, technological advancements and innovative new practices, and new ways that organisations are doing ‘old business’.

Projects

Projects that have helped your organisation to recognise, respond or record elder abuse, including but not limited to help lines, databases, identification tools and marketing strategies.

Collaboration, Information Sharing and Engagement

Different ways in which your organisation works with others to spread messages, promote ideas and events, fund projects and activities and share valuable information and statistics. We are also looking at ways in which you think we can better record Elder Abuse ie managing statistic, National Linkages.

Education, Training and Workforce Development

Including, but not limited to new and existing training programs, tertiary courses and other workforce development methods.

Learning from Other Disciplines

We are looking for ways in which elder abuse agencies can learn from other disciplines that excel in areas such as information sharing, reporting and recording, victim protection, relationship building and fundraising.

Future Visions

We are looking to find out new ways to further advance the prevention of elder abuse eg changing perceptions, changing laws, changing the way we look at or think about things.

For guidelines, click to contact Advocare Inc., or call Advocare on 9479 7566 and speak to Greg Mahney.

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Launch of new protocol

Last week, around a hundred professionals whose work involves older people and their well-being attended a launch of a document, Elder Abuse Protocol: Guidelines for Action. The event was hosted by Advocare Inc., the lead agency of the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse:WA* (APEA:WA) at the Leadership Centre of the Australian Institute of Management. As the inaugural CEO of Advocare Inc. I was privileged to attend and delighted to see the work that these two organisations are doing.

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The new Protocol provides general information about elder abuse, as well as information about appropriate responses to elder abuse for staff who work in organisations that deal with older people.

A story

A seventy-year-old woman in a nursing home finds two masked men in her room early one morning. She yells for help but they knock to the ground and she suffers minor bruising. The intruders steal two handbags containing small change that belong to the staff on duty. The incident is reported on television news and on page 5 of the local newspaper. The intruders are later caught and convicted of break and entry, assault and theft.

Another story

A woman of similar age who lives in a nearby suburb does not escape so lightly. She has slight paralysis on her left side as the result of a cerebrovascular accident (stroke) a few years ago. She’s mentally alert and competent and lives alone with some support from aged care services. She  completes a couple of cryptic cross-word puzzles a week; enjoys putting 1 000 piece jigsaw puzzles together; and sees friends regularly.

Unfortunately, many years ago, thinking she was preparing well for her old age, she donated enduring power of attorney to her only son so that he could manage her finances if she was ever incapable of looking after them herself. In the weeks while she was in hospital immediately following the stroke, when she had temporarily lost her decision-making capacity, he assumed power of attorney and took control of her finances.

Now he refuses to relinquish that power. He manages her bank accounts, pays all her household bills, gives her an allowance for food, and maintains tight control over her money. She is distressed by the predicament she finds herself in. The most recent episode was his response when she asked for $200 from her bank account to replace her shabby tracksuits and underclothes.

‘Don’t be so silly, Mum,’ he said.You don’t need new clothes. You don’t go anywhere. Why waste money on stuff you don’t need?’

The son may not see his behaviour as elder abuse. After all, he might argue, the old lady’s needs are being met. He is only looking after the inheritance he will, in his opinion, rightly acquire when she dies. He does not acknowledge that he no longer has a right to her power of attorney or access to her finances; and the money he ‘refuses’ to ‘give’ his mother is not his, but hers.

There have been no headlines in newspapers about the financial abuse of this old woman, nor are there likely to be in the near future. Financial abuse of elders takes many forms, and this story is simply one illustration.

There are other kinds of violence inflicted on older men and women by their families and ‘friends’ – people everyone expects they should be able to trust. Elder abuse includes physical, emotional and social abuse and neglect. We don’t hear a lot about it. No one likes to admit they are being mistreated and many older people are afraid to talk about it.

‘Elder abuse is not something newspapers like to cover,’ a journalist told me earlier this week. ‘Even if I wrote a really good article, it wouldn’t be printed.’

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Short personal history

In the 1970s, domestic violence was not considered a crime. Men were allowed, under the law, to rape their wives. Police frequently sided with the perpetrator when called to a scene of domestic violence. The courts and the churches often turned a blind eye to the plight of victims of familial violence. They declined to condemn perpetrators in the same way they blindly failed to condemn perpetrators of child abuse.

The second wave Feminist Movement went some way to change community attitudes towards domestic violence.

In the 1970s a group of people, all of us passionate about social justice, set up Emmaus, the second women’s refuge in Western Australia in an old, four-bedroom house that we rented in Inglewood. We had little money, a great deal of goodwill – and no government assistance. Emmaus was soon full of women and children escaping violent husbands and fathers.

In the early 1980s, I was invited to represent Community Health Nurses on the Western Australian Advisory and Coordinating Committee on Child Abuse. At the time, I was working as the nurse in a high school and encountered children who were victims of abuse on an almost daily basis.

In the early 1990s, farsighted social workers, counsellors, teachers and others concerned with the welfare of women, children and families began to make connections, not seen before, between domestic violence and child abuse.

These days it is widely acknowledged that domestic violence in all its forms including child abuse is never OK.

But so far in our society there has been no major breakthrough in attitudes to elder abuse . Elder abuse receives little publicity and is barely recognised, perhaps because older people in our society receive less respect than they deserve.

New developments

However, there are some organisations which work tirelessly to bring this injustice to the consciousness of the community. 

 Advocare Inc. and the Alliance for the Prevention of Elder Abuse:WA (APEA:WA) are two such organisations. They define elder abuse as ‘any act which causes harm to an older person and occurs within an informal relationship of trust, such as family or friends…Abuse can take many forms, including financial or material abuse, neglect, emotional or psychological abuse, social abuse, physical abuse, or sexual abuse’.

According to APEAWA, elder abuse is underreported. But it is estimated that between two and five percent of older people will experience abuse, which means that between  6 000 and 15 000 older Western Australians could be affected.

Section of audience at launch of Elder Abuse Protocol

Section of audience at launch of Elder Abuse Protocol

The protocol launched last week states:

In addressing elder abuse, the rights of the older person must be supported. Older people have the right to make decision, take risks, or refuse supports and interventions, as long as they have the cognitive capacity to make informed decision and can understand the consequences of those actions.

Message

If you think you may be, or could in future be, the victim or elder abuse, or if you suspect someone you know may be the victim, please ring Advocare Inc. on (08) 9479 7566 and talk to an advocate who will provide information about the steps you can take, and if necessary support you.

Congratulations

Congratulations to everyone involved in producing Elder Abuse Protocol: Guidelines for Action, such a successful launch, and to those who supported its publication, especially the Department of Local Government and Communities for funding.

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*Agencies which comprise APEA:WA are Advocare Incorporated; the Department of Aboriginal Affairs: Department of Local Government and Communities; Department of Health WA; Disability Services Commission;  Legal Aid (WA); Office of the Chief Psychiatrist; Office of the Public Advocate; Public Trustee; WA Police; Western Australian Local Government Association.

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Make a stand

An article in the West Australian’s financial pages a few days ago left me almost choking over my muesli. A financial adviser wrote on ways middle-aged children could protect ‘their’ inheritance. My elder-abuse-antenna shot up. Such an ageist, abusive idea!

The article  suggested that the children should set in place enduring powers of attorney for their elderly parents. When – not if, but when! – the younger people had to make plans to care for the seniors, they would have access to control over the parents’ finances.

There are a few problems with this advice.

The first is that everyone should arrange to give their enduring powers of attorney to someone they trust, in the same way everyone, not just old people, should make a will. Blank powers of attorney documents can be bought at most newsagents and Australia Post shops. Solicitors can also assist. The documents require the signature of the person donating the powers and those of two witnesses.

Enduring powers of attorney provide some legal protection against the possibility of financial abuse or exploitation following an accident, the onset of dementia or some other unfortunate event which might impair a person’s decision-making process. Who gets to look after your finances is not something that should be left to chance.

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The second problem with the advice in the newspaper is that older people should not allow anyone decide who will have these powers: it is their decision about their own future. Sons and daughters can suggest that mother or father puts powers of attorney in place, but the idea of the children attempting to put them in place suggests coercion, even potential abuse.

Statistics show the prevalence of financial abuse of older women and men that is actually reported in Australia. The statistics are probably the tip of a very large iceberg. And it seems that relatively few older people recognise that they, too, can be victims at the hands of those they should be able to trust.

Most older people understand that strangers can harm them financially and in other ways. But it is too shocking to think that our own sons and daughters, step-children, grandchildren, other relatives or friends would harm us, intentionally or unintentionally. No one likes to think something like that could happen to them!

Everyone, including old people, should obtain and maintain control of their own financial affairs. This applies even when a person is part of a couple. When one partner deals exclusively with shared financial matters and makes the decisions, the survivor can be left unable to manage for themselves should their partner become incapacitated or die. Decision-making can then be taken out of the hands of the survivor, sometimes with ill-effect.

I worry when I read articles such as the one in the newspaper. Misleading information such as that makes it easy to assume that adult children have some rights over their parent’s money or property; easy, too, for children to expect to be given access to their parents’ funds.

Advent

Blending two sets of family traditions in a new marriage can be tricky, even for youngsters. John and I are pleased we’ve worked out some Advent customs we both like, even though we were in our seventies when we married six years ago, and should have been more stuck in our ways. Away from the shops and the hype of television and print advertising, we’ve discovered that this season can be one of quiet reflection and hope leading up to the celebration of the coming of the Christ-Child at Christmas.

Advent begins around four weeks before Christmas Day, not always on the same date. The First Sunday of Advent occurs on the Sunday closest to the feast of St. Andrew on 30 November, so that the beginning of Advent is a moveable feast.

Every year, members of my large family gather at my house to make the Christmas puddings. It’s a festive occasion. Everyone stirs the pudding mixture (and taste it!) and has the opportunity to make a wish. According to a British tradition, Christmas puddings are made on the Sunday before the first Sunday of Advent. This is sometimes called ‘Stir-up’ Sunday from the first words in the Collect of the day – ‘Stir up our hearts, O Lord…’

Advent wreath

Advent wreath

Our Advent wreath is made of a circle of greenery that signifies eternity. Decorated with purple flowers, it reflects the liturgical colour for the season. Inside the wreath are three purple candles and one that is rose-coloured . The rose one is known as the Gaudette or ‘joy’ candle because it is lit on the third Sunday of Advent when Christmas is near. On the first Sunday of Advent, John lit one purple candle on our wreath and we continue to light it before the evening meal as we say a short prayer. Each Sunday we will light another candle and the light from the wreath will grow brighter as we get closer to Christmas.

Christmas tree tucked into a corner of the living room

Christmas tree tucked into a corner of the living room

John and I put up the Christmas tree on the Feast of St Nicholas (perhaps the first Santa Claus) on 6th December. There are many traditions surrounding Christmas trees. The one I prefer says that during medieval morality plays, an ever-green tree was used to represent the Garden of Eden. Trees later became associated with Christmas, and were hung with apples and nuts. The apples stood for the fruit of the tree of good and evil.

Our tree is laden with golden baubles; it is very different from the trees my six children and I decorated when they were young and I was an impoverished single parent. In those days, our tree was a branch from one that grew in the garden. Everyone helped to make the decorations from cardboard, painted pine cones and crepe paper. This year’s tree’s a bit lop-sided, but I love it anyway. Soon, we’ll put the wrapped presents underneath.

Preparing for Christmas

Preparing for Christmas

A decorated wreath adorns the front door, announcing to visitors and passers-by that this household is preparing for Christmas.

Christmas Crib

Christmas Crib

We’ve assembled  a crib on the hall stand. It’s a simple depiction of the first Christmas in Bethlehem and far from perfect. After a mishap a couple of decades ago when St Joseph was dropped on the tiles, he has a tendency to lose his head; and there are only two wise men now, instead of three. No one remembers what happened to the man with the gift of gold.

Mary and Joseph and some animals are waiting, but there is no manger yet. After Mass on Christmas  Eve, we’ll take the Infant Jesus out of hiding and place Him in the middle of the stable.

Too often in the past, my preparation for Christmas has  been fraught with too much to do and too many places to go. But these days, for this old couple, Advent is a peaceful, gentle time. Old age has many benefits.

Advent and Christmas reading

Advent and Christmas reading